


Beyond Healing: A Phone Call

by thegaolersdaughter



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25265668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegaolersdaughter/pseuds/thegaolersdaughter
Summary: After another boring and eventless day, Leonard receives a call from Penny who tells him about her not-so-eventless night. This short fan fiction gives a serious insight into Leonard's feelings and sad love life. Contains explicit language.
Relationships: Leonard Hofstadter/Penny
Kudos: 3





	1. Part 1

"Heeeyy, how you doing? It's been some time. What are you doing?" Penny always seemed excited when Leonard picked up the phone. But Leonard knew that she was like that with everybody, not just with him. She was a very outgoing person, unlike Leonard. It actually had not been that long since they last talked. They had seen each other ten days ago, but they did not really talk then. Leonard had just gotten home from work and Penny had opened her apartment door to leave for work, so all they had time for was the usual formula of greeting. But Leonard understood why it might have felt that long, considering that they had talked almost every single day before. It was always Penny who called or knocked on his door to talk or hang out, never Leonard. The reason for that was quite simple: Leonard never had anything mention worthy to talk about, whereas Penny seemed to want to tell him everything that was going on in her life, which, most of the time, involved other guys. That was another reason why Leonard was not too keen to talk to her too much. He loved her. He did not know whether she knew or not, but he did know that she did not love him back.

Today, however, after watching his phone ring for a good thirteen seconds, debating between picking up or pretending not to have heard it, he decided he would fight through the pain. "Yeah, hey. I just got home from work and opened up a book." Leonard said, only responding to the last question. He had actually gotten home around an hour before Penny called. All he did during that time, however, was eat, watch TV, and play on his phone, and he did not think that was relevant information.

"What are you reading?"

"Just re-reading the _Song of Ice and Fire_ series to kinda refresh my memory before George Martin publishes the next book of the series."

"Is that the one with the dragons and that white-haired girl? From _Game of Thrones_?"

"Well, it's more complicated than that, but yeah." Leonard said, deciding that Penny would probably not be interested in a full-fledged analysis of the characters and story of Westeros.

"Cool, cool. What's new with you?"

"Not much." _As usual_. "You know, work, science and stuff." Leonard gave the same answer to that question every time, and every time they talked, she asked it out of courtesy. It was obviously considerate of her to at least ask, even though they both knew the answer was always the same. "What's new with you?" Leonard asked, knowing well that, by asking, he would run the risk of hearing of some other guy she was infatuated with now.

"I had a date last night." _And here we go_.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Penny said, excited, either ignoring or ignorant of Leonard's disinterested tone. "He texted me yesterday afternoon on Instagram, talking about how he's been trying to text for the past two weeks but didn't know what to say." _Great. Tell me more, tell me more_ , Leonard thought, sarcastically. "Then he asked for my number but you know I don't really give out my number like that, but then I was like 'Fuck it' and just gave it to him. So we talked on the phone and then he said he wanted to meet me, but I didn't really want to." _But you did anyway_. "But yeah, we met." Penny started laughing, as though she had just told a joke. She did that a lot. "It was really nice. He's a cop and works as a model, too. He even showed me his gun." She laughed, again. "He picked me up in his Audi and we drove to the pier. He grabbed my arms and looked me in the eyes and told me how beautiful I was and then he kissed me. I thought it was going kinda fast but, yeah… Do you think that was too fast?"

"Umm.." _Obviously it was too fast, you shouldn't even have met him, you dumb bitch_ , Leonard thought. But before Leonard could say anything, Penny interrupted him. She did that a lot, too.

"Then we went to this waffle place and he told me his cousin owned it and I told him I'd wait outside so he could say hi to his cousin, but he insisted I'd go in with him, holding hands, so he could introduce me. He is not wasting time, huh?" She laughed again. "It was nice, though. And I thought to myself 'Please, God, don't let him have a small dick'," she added another laugh. "We sat in his backseat after he drove me home, 'cause he said he wanted to be close to me, and, yeah, we fucked." _Great. Thanks for sharing that. How the fuck do these guys do that? He literally fucked her the same day he texted her, didn't even know each other beforehand. Guess you have to be tall, and good-looking. And rich_. "After, he said that we were dating now, and that I was his woman. Ugh, I hate when guys talk like that, but I didn't say anything."

"Sounds like you had a fun night." Leonard finally said after being quiet for so long. He felt like he had to say something to seem interested in her love life. He did not quite understand why he did that to himself, why he kept listening to these stories, knowing damn well that they would only hurt him. Then again, he did not have many friends, let alone female friends, and he did not want to lose her friendship. "What about Phil? How's it going with him?"


	2. Part 2

"Oh, yeah, it's going okay, I guess. We had a little fight the other night." Phil was officially her boyfriend, but Penny didn't take that relationship very seriously. He was twice her age and he essentially paid for her livelihood, since waitresses at the Cheesecake Factory aren't exactly part of the top one percent. He was the one who introduced her to this lavish lifestyle. To put it more simply, Phil was her sugar daddy. "We were at the hotel again and I told him I wanted to go to the bar downstairs, but I guess he got jealous or whatever and told me not to go. I went anyways, cause fuck him, right?" She laughed at that. "So I went to the bar and the owner came up to me all nice and told me if I had any problems or if any guys approached me or tryna bother me I could just go to him and he'd settle things. And I met this guy at the bar," great, "and he was so handsome, oh my god. He told me he was having a party in his room with some other guys and invited me. We went up and had a couple of drinks and went to the bathroom to make out." This elicited another laugh. "I felt so musty, though. I told that I'd go back to my room to change and come back in a minute. As I was taking the lift, I prayed that Phil wouldn't be in the room, cause then I'd have to stay with him, ugh. I started changing and I swear the second I made for the door he walked in. I told him about the party and he obviously didn't approve. He told me he's starting to get feelings and all that stuff, you know. So annoying. So we had this big fight, 'cause - you know about our arrangement right?"

"Yes." The arrangement Penny was talking about allowed Phil to have sex with her whenever he wanted, but it also permitted Penny to hook up with other guys (or girls) as long as she presented herself as the obedient, pretty little doll when with Phil. Feelings weren't included in the arrangement.

"So, yeah, I told him that we had an arrangement and that I'm not his to control or. . . his, period. He started getting angry and I just left the room. In the hallway I met another friend of ours who I told about the fight and then he started blabbering about feelings he's been having for me, too. Damn. What the fuck is up with these guys, seriously? I cannot catch a break here." _Aw, you poor girl. Guys and girls wanna be with you and worship you and desire your presence. Bitch_. "Anyways, what's up with you, though? How's your love life going?"

"You know," _my life sucks_ , "same old", _I will never be happy_ , "same old." Leonard didn't have a love life. But it certainly wasn't out of lack of trying. He'd been trying, alright. He even joined Tinder to get closer to women, after Howard had told him that women basically beg for male attention on the dating app. He himself wasn't a member, because, according to him, he didn't want to seem desperate. Leonard was way above seeming desperate, however. He downloaded the app six months ago, but only managed to accumulate three matches thus far. A new stream of excitement raced through Leonard's body every time he matched with someone new. He texted first on all three occasions and on all three occasions he didn't receive a response. This is not what Leonard had expected when he moved to Los Angeles. Besides working at Cal Tech, he was excited to finally leave the hellhole he had lived in before. Finally moving to a place where the sun shines all around the year. Finally moving to a place where the girls drop their panties quicker than Sheldon could explain why girls shouldn't drop their panties that quickly. The only women he'd been with, however, were Joyce Kim, who only used him to spy for North Korea, and Leslie Winkle, with whom he had actually hoped he could build a stable and functioning relationship, but who only used to him for "stress release". Penny didn't need to hear all of that, though. "Anyways, I'm beat. I think I'm gonna call it a night. Besides, you know how Sheldon gets when he hears noise after ten."

"Alright, yeah. Call me if anything's up or if you wanna just talk or whatever."

"Yeah, definitely. Good night."

"Good night."

Leonard, lying on his back, hung up and put the phone on his chest. He loved her. He loved the girl who was considerate, and who put on a smile every time they saw each other, and who he could tell his deepest feelings and secrets to without being judged. He knew, however, that that girl would never be meant for him. Realizing that he'd have to spend another night with no one sharing his bed and wake up the next morning all by himself, he burst out crying.


End file.
